I used to pray for times like this, to rhyme like this,
So I had to grind like that to shine like this.
In a matter of time I spent on some locked-up sh…

…

Oh wait, not THAT “Dreams and Nightmares”. Right.

2026 has been a remarkable year of golf, highlighted by a week-long trip to the southwestern coast of Ireland, followed by an equally exciting 10th anniversary of our “SB2K” spring break golf trips in Pinehurst. And of course, one of my golfing dreams came true in October when Candyroot Lodge finally opened, and I found my new home course.

Editor’s Note: At this point, the Editor recognizes that this is now the 2nd consecutive golf story on a hockey website. The Flyers started 0-7-3 this season, and as of October 30th, sit amongst the NHL’s bottom five teams with a roster built for purgatory. Cut the Editor some slack, please. The Editor will get back to hockey in the winter months with some exciting stories to entertain his loyal readers. In the meantime, the Editor still likes golf.

My dear college friends Doug and Aubrey are certified “golf sickos”, engaging in fun debates and detailed discussions on everything from golf course architecture to the LPGA Tour to what degree they bent their irons down to for more distance to everything in between. I’m coming around on the “golf sicko” train, Candyroot having awakened in me a new sense of intellectual curiosity for the finer details of “flags and grass”.

The three of us frequently consume golf media, and one of our mutually favorite podcasts is No Laying Up, wherein the hosts deep dive on golf trips, happenings on the PGA Tour, and experiences from their own golf careers. Two such recent deep dives centered on the concepts of a “Dream 18” and a “Nightmare 18”. The rules were simple: select your favorite and least favorite 18 holes of golf, the caveats being that you must have played the hole, and the number of the hole on its actual course must match the number of the hole on your course. And only one hole per real-life course on your respective 18’s.

That sounded like a fun idea, so I put it to the test. And so, I came up with my “Dream 18”, a mixture of the most dramatic holes I’ve played and holes that just make me smile, and my “Nightmare 18”, holes that are scary, hard, or that can just plain f*** off!

The Dream 18

1. Bethpage State Park – Black Course (Par 4 – 429 yards – “The Sign”) Bethpage is a special place, being one of the few truly public courses to host a major championship (the 2002 & 2009 US Opens, the 2019 PGA Championship, and the 2025 Ryder Cup). It is is well-renowned for its extreme difficulty, and that becomes very apparent on the first tee, adorned with a world-famous warning sign to all golfers. That definitely gave me first tee jitters, but I was fortunate to make par on the 1st on both of my rounds at the Black! It’s a fairly mundane opener, but still a fun test to start a challenging round.

2. Carolina National Golf Club – Egret Nine (Par 4 – 424 yards – “Home”) This gently sweeping dogleg left has plenty of sand and water with which to contend, but it’s not about the golf here. Egret 2 is our home hole, our family home sitting some 200 yards to the right of the fairway across the street. It’s also home to my newest golf tradition: the Christmas Challenge. 9 holes of par-3 golf from the 150 yard marker on Christmas afternoon, with not another soul on the course. May Christmas Day weather at the National continue to be sunny and pleasant!

3. Jeffersonville Golf Club (Par 4 – 292 yards – “Short”) Without a doubt, one of the Philadelphia area’s finest public links, Jeffersonville oozes a ton of Donald Ross charm. The uphill 3rd is driveable for longer hitters, but still has challenging bunkers in the landing area and protecting the green. I love playing J-ville, and the 3rd is a very fun test of your game.

4. True Blue Golf Club (Par 5 – 548 yards – “Cape”) Mike Strantz is known for designing and building wild golf holes. The 4th at True Blue in Pawleys Island, SC is one of those wild holes: a long C-shaped par 5 wrapping all the way around a lake. It’s a fun, traditional Cape hole, and it’s probably a lot more fun if you don’t miss your driver 60 yards right into the trees, to be honest. Not that I have any experience with that, of course.

5. Talamore Golf Resort (Par 3 – 165 yards – “Double Tee”) Depending on the day, you play one of two distinctly different holes at Talamore’s 5th. There are two sets of tees approaching the green from 90 degrees apart, each presenting different angles and approaches into a large green (below is from the left side). I’d never seen such a hole before, and its unique design definitely earned it a spot in my Dream 18!

6. Charleston Municipal Golf Course (Par 4 – 402 yards – “Punchbowl”) – The Muni, as it’s colloquially known, has tons of traditional “template holes” to pay homage to legendary golf architect Seth Raynor. One of those holes is the Punchbowl at the 6th hole. The edges of the green are elevated and funnel shots back toward the lower parts of the green in the middle. One of many fun shots at one of America’s finest municipal-owned courses.

7. Makefield Highlands Golf Club (Par 5 – 642 yards – “Long”) And speaking of munis, Makefield Highlands is another of Philadelphia’s finest municipal tracks. Not that I’m biased at all, of course. I only grew up at the Highlands, worked there in the cart barn and on the driving range for four wonderful summers, and was very proud to call the course home for more than 20 years. Makefield is a rare modern links layout with tons of rolling hills and deep bunkers. The long par-5 7th hole is undoubtedly the crown jewel of the course, stretching a whopping 642 yards with a 150-yard long pond hugging the right side. 7 is a beast of a hole but is also a blast to play!

8. Candyroot Lodge (Par 3 – 206 yards – “Ravine”) And then speaking of home courses, Candyroot has stolen my heart and a good portion of my wallet, but it’s going to be a fantastic addition to the greater Charlotte golf market! Like the Highlands, Candyroot lacks trees but has plenty of rolling hills and ravines that players traverse during their round. The 8th hole may be the finest example of how good the property is. It’s a long, uphill par 3, the best on the course, in my opinion. Golfers not only have to clear the ravine, but they also have to contend with one of the largest greens on the course. 8 definitely makes my Mount Rushmore of holes at Candyroot.

9. River’s Edge Golf Club (Par 5 – 570 yards – “Arnie’s Revenge”) It’s one of the most picturesque holes in North Carolina, but also one of its most daunting. The entire hole straddles the marshes of the Shallotte River, but the green looks oh so tempting from the fairway. The green is just 15-yards wide with approximately 4 inches of wiggle room on either side to miss, lest your ball wind up with the gators and turtles. I mean, look at how small this green is! Aptly nicknamed “Arnie’s Revenge” in honor of the course’s designer, for Mr. Palmer has wreaked havoc with many a round on this hole. But damn, is it unique and cool!

10. Forest Oaks Country Club (Par 4 – 369 yards – “Dunes”) This one is a bit of editorial privilege; I just always play the 10th at Forest Oaks well. Not that difficult, just hit a long iron or fairway wood toward the small dunes on the left, flip a wedge onto the green, make a birdie putt, and then continue to enjoy your round at this former PGA Tour venue. Easy as that!

11. Tobacco Road Golf Club (Par 5 – 531 yards – “The Bunker”) You know what’s not easy, though? Getting stuck in a 20-foot-deep waste bunker crafted out of an old sand mine. But despite the visual mindf***ery that the Road’s 11th hole presents, it’s still one of my favorite holes on one of my favorite courses. And home to one of the finest up and downs I’ve ever seen in my life, courtesy of Doug.

12. Waterville Golf Links (Par 3 – 164 yards – “The Mass Hole”) During the 18th century, practicing Catholicism in Ireland was a treasonous crime punishable by death. Many Irish people in the village of Waterville would celebrate Mass secretly in a valley surrounded by tall dunes to avoid detection. Centuries later, Irish workers constructing Waterville Golf Links refused to build a green in that valley, deeming it a sacred site. Thus, the par-3 12th now crosses the valley and ends atop one of those dunes, rather than playing downhill. To this day, members of the Waterville community still hold Mass in the valley on special occasions. Thus, this hole is now called “The Mass Hole”. I mean, come on, how cool is that?!?

13. Broomsedge Golf Club (Par 4 – 406 yards – “Double Green”) Just like Talamore has double tees, Broomsedge has multiple instances of double greens. Depending on the day, three different holes play to different greens, including the bunker-laden par-4 13th hole. Very cool indeed!

14. Atlantic City Country Club (Par 4 – 339 yards – “Salt Marsh”) ACCC is such a cool club, from its old-school locker room featuring lockers named for everyone from Arnold Palmer to Frank Sinatra, to its excellent bar and grill, and its spectacular views of Atlantic City’s many casinos and hotels. The par-14 14th plays from a secluded tee box in the salt marshes overlooking the bay, and is one of ACCC’s highlights.

15. Yardley Country (Par 3 – 148 yards – “The Pond”) I called The Yard home for many years too, both as a junior golfer and as a member of the Pennsbury High School golf team. A lot of the course is rather mundane, but I always liked the 15th, playing across a pond to a tricky green that slanted severely back to front. As if we needed more water on this Dream 18!

16. Merion Golf Club (Par 4 – 429 yards – “Quarry”) Merion is the finest example of story-worthy golf I’ve ever seen. The course was once called “a play in three acts”, with the final five holes called a “tragedy”. Tragedy is quite right, as 14 through 18 are all extremely demanding holes. But the true highlight is the par-4 16th, playing downhill off the tee but then blind and uphill over a hill dotted with bunkers and scraggly rocks. It’s named “The Quarry Hole” after an old limestone quarry that once occupied the property, pictured below to the left of the 16th green.

17. Ballybunion Golf Club (Par 4 – 366 yards – “Devil’s Elbow”) Ballybunion just doesn’t seem real at times. It’s a magical place crafted out of the hillsides of County Kerry on the eastern shores of the Atlantic Ocean. The Old Course has the finest landscapes of any golf course I’ve ever played, and it’s earned its reputation as one of the world’s finest links. 17 is a fantastic golf hole in which you tee off directly toward the Atlantic Ocean, seemingly reachable off the tee. But the hole bends 45 degrees left and downhill toward a smallish green protected by dunes and bunkers. What a fun hole to enjoy all of the finest aspects of golf!

18. Pinehurst Resort – Course #2 (Par 4 – 448 yards – “Payne Stewart”) The words “special” and “Pinehurst” just belong in the same sentence. #2 is well known for its difficulty, its greens, and its US Open pedigree. There are no bad holes or dumb holes on the course. But 18 is beyond special. It’s a daunting uphill par 4, zigzagging around bunkers and native areas. Filled with history, from Payne Stewart’s winning putt in 1999 to Bryson DeChambeau’s remarkable sand save in 2024, both to win the US Open. But also filled with challenge, and I still dream about making par in front of the lively patrons of The Deuce one day. But it’s a dream end to a dream 18 holes of golf, both at #2, and on my “Dream 18”.

The Nightmare 18

Dishonorable Mention: The Entire Front Nine at Woodcrest Country Club – On June 20, 2012, I played the Philadelphia Open Qualifier at Woodcrest in South Jersey. I played nine excellent holes of golf on the back nine, and by the time I made the turn, I sat among the leaders at 1-under. With nine more holes of good golf, I could have earned a spot in the Open at the legendary Pine Valley Golf Club. But instead, the “Meltdown at Woodcrest” ensued, highlighted by a trip to the creek on the 3rd hole, and a four-putt on the 4th hole. I went home, feeling defeated and devastated, and quit competitive golf that night. I’ve not played a tournament since, nor will I ever again. If Woodcrest, now called The Legacy Club, burned to the ground, I would crack a bottle of champagne, take a healthy swig, and spray the rest over the smoldering ashes of the course. The entire place can f*** right off!

1. Merion Golf Club (Par 4 – 358 yards) – You’re about to play a US Open course, one of the best and most famous in the world. No warm up. Just mere feet from the clubhouse and the members dining. And you take your driver out and top it 30 yards as a geeky, nervous teenager? Yeah, that’s scary.

2. Ballybunion Golf Club (Par 4 – 390 yards) – Ballybunion has nearly a dozen holes criss-crossing through Irish dunes, but #2 takes the cake as the hardest. You hit less than driver to avoid two mounds pinching the fairway, then hit straight uphill through those mounds with a long iron to a blind green. Very, very hard.

3. Tralee Golf Club (Par 3 – 156 yards) – I don’t remember being nervous on the tee but I cold shanked a 9-iron into the Atlantic Ocean that lines the entire right side of the hole. Turns out, golf ball + Atlantic Ocean = double bogey. In retrospect, that’s a scary shot with water all up in your peripheral vision.

4. The Club at Longview (Par 5 – 539 yards) – I love hitting driver or 3 wood around a corner to cut down on distance, then immediately getting blocked out by trees on the left and having to lay up. Then laying up, and finding yourself in calf-deep fescue that careens off a 40-foot cliff. Pretty hard setup, if you ask me.

5. Huntingdon Valley Country Club – Centennial Nine (Par 4 – 401 yards) – The 5th fairway is damn near impossible to hit because it tilts 30 degrees right to left. So you have to basically hit a slice into it just to kill the momentum of your ball. But don’t worry, there’s trees right, bunkers in the landing area left, and a deep creek protecting an elevated green. Tough place for a playoff in the Suburban One League tournament. In 20-30 mph winds. Ridiculously hard. Survived though!

6. Oak Hollow Golf Club (Par 4 – 420 yards) – The longest tee box here on 6 is a lonely little island jutting out into Oak Hollow Lake. The line to the fairway is completely blind, it takes 190 yards just to reach the fairway, and it’s nerve-racking even being on the lonely little island by yourself to tee off. There’s bookoo water to find here; much scary!

7. Warrior Golf Club (Par 4 – 401 yards) – This is a hard hole for a lot of reasons: the split lakes you have to weave around, the elevated green. But hitting off of mats because the grass on the tee boxes can’t grow in the shade makes this a very hard hole.

8. River Bend YMCA Golf Course (Par 4 – 359 yards) – Why yes, I love playing my second shot across a massive valley with a pond to an elevated two-tier green that’s damn near impossible to hold. Very hard shot, very hard hole.

9. Ocean County Golf Course at Atlantis (Par 4 – 436 yards) – I can’t spread enough ill will about this place. They wouldn’t let me play here as a kid until I turned 13, their staff are the most miserable people on the planet, and the incessant green flies are a painful nuisance. Forget the 9th hole, which is just a long-ish par 4 with no character. The entire place f***ing sucks and I hope those miserable people working the pro shop f*** off!

10. Candyroot Lodge (Par 4 – 424 yards) – Don’t get me wrong, I love Candyroot with all my heart. This addition to the Nightmare 18 is purely because I met some rather hungry ants in the right rough. Itched for days! The hole is fine, but the ants can f*** right off!

11. Mooresville Golf Club (Par 4 – 372 yards) – This is just a really narrow par four with trouble ok both sides; trees line the right side, and a giant chasm of fescue and sadness line the left. Tough shot with a long iron or fairway wood; kinda dumb and kinda hard.

12. Indian Valley Golf Club (Par 5 – 518 yards) – They smushed a weird hole into a weird piece of land. The fairway turns 45 degrees right, and a nice, straight drive puts you….into the woods. Then you either hit a long three wood uphill or you lay up before another creek. Pretty dumb hole; it can f*** off. But still a fun place to slap and giggle around the course with your best friends!

13. Wild Dunes Resort – Links Course (Par 4 – 427 yards) – By this point in the round, 3 hours in, you’re probably wondering, “When is this seaside golf course going to actually go along the seaside?” Not here; another long, narrow par 4 into the wind next to some condos. For well over $100. At twilight. F*** off!

14. Tobacco Road Golf Course (Par 3 – 175 yards) – I haven’t hit land on this hole since Barack Obama occupied the White House. In fact, I played my second shot from the lake on my last trip to the Road in 2024. Alas, I made bogey. This water-filled par 3 lives rent free in my head. Very scary!

15. Bethpage State Park – Black Course (Par 4 – 430 yards) – Bethpage Black is well-known for being a beast of a golf course, filled with thick rough and elevated, undulating greens. I’ve described it as a 5 and a half hour kick in the butt while you carry your clubs on your back and question your life choices. The 15th at the Black is a perfect cacophony of those difficult features, featuring a long, daunting tee shot to a fairway protected by extremely thick rough. But don’t worry, it gets better. The green is nearly 50 feet elevated above the fairway and protected by two massive bunkers. Oh, and the green has a massive slope that turns putts into adventures…or tragedies. US Open-level hard.

16. Skybrook Golf Club (Par 3 – 178 yards) – I made a 10 here in a college club golf tournament once. On a par 3. There’s lots of water to carry to find the green. I did not, in fact, carry the water. Three times in a row. Scary number on the scorecard, 10 is.

17. Yardley Country Club (Par 3 – 228 yards) – 228 yards? Dead uphill? While carrying your bag all summer? At the end of every round? Enough said. The Yard isn’t too bad, but 17 can f*** off!

18. Makefield Highlands Golf Club (Par 4 – 445 yards) – So much to say about 18 at my beloved Highlands. I’ve tried to play it laying up at the top of the hill with an iron. Still leaves you with a long iron or wood across the valley. I’ve tried a driver. Brings the creek at the bottom of the hill into play. I’ve tried going down towards 16 fairway. Still brings that God-awful magnet of a greenside bunker into play. Makefield is a wonderful course, a wonderful place, and I can’t wait to go again. But the 18th hole, like so many on this list is flat-out hard. It’s truly a nightmare!